Forever in a day

Moving on

2008-03-08T19:44:00.002+08:00

Hey fellow readers,

Change is good,
hence I've moved here.

Relink, if you wish :)

Blue

2008-02-24T19:38:00.006+08:00

Feeling the Sunday evening blues.
Knowing there's a new week ahead,
yet thoughts and things cloud the mind.
It's a sinking feeling that creeps in.

Aiko asked me yet again today at lunch:
" Jiejie, when are you
coming to my house to swim? "

I looked at her cherubic smile,
and couldn't bear to give her
the answer which I knew
would disappoint her.

How can you tell a child you're too busy
to even spend an afternoon with her?
It breaks my heart to know that
a mountain of work awaits,
and I cannot, as much as all of me wants to,
spend an afternoon having a fun time at the pool
with this dear girl.

Where has time gone, I ask myself.
With all that's happening,
moments like these just go by in
the blink of an eye.

Sigh, sigh.

A raging need to be quiet.

2008-02-19T20:40:00.009+08:00

The term is ending,
things are going at such an incredible speed,
it's hard to breathe at times.

A particularly crazy, energy-zapping day
with active kids, an assignment to hand-up,
last minute issues to resolve,
and the ever-looming practicum,
drove me to retreat by myself in a quiet corner
with dinner and thoughts to reflect on.

I crave the quiet,
as things at this particular moment
are so hurried, so rushed,
so impractical,
so indescribable.
It's the culmination of a nightmare.

This is as much as I can take.
I have health concerns,
my dear Mum to take care of,
and other issues to handle.
I need a break,
to be quiet with The One who loves me
and who determines my life.

CNY Firsts.

2008-02-08T14:03:00.000+08:00

92, and still going strong :)

This year's CNY has been a quiet one, of sorts.
Visitations are now reduced to just one official visit,
to my 92 year old grandma / matriach of the Liew clan,
who has been staying a medical center for a few years now.
The Pizazz of reunion dinner has been distributed to the motto of
"OTOH" - Own time, own house.

A first home cooked reunion dinner,
with delicious healthy food.
My Aunt and oldest Uncle kindly invited us
to have our own reunion dinner
at their place with my cousin (also an only child).

Got to see more old photos of my mum as a kid *grin*,
of my uncle as a young adult,
and the old shop-house where the Liew clan used to live,
which is now where National Library stands.
Nuggets of family history which are dispensed each year :)

Another flurry of firsts.
Mum and I broke tradition by cleaning the house on Day 1.
We were too tired on the eve, after buying stuff for the house.
First dinner on Day 1 at a prata house, of all places.
First supper at Macs with good old french fries.
First breakfast today at the same prata place, now realising
they have damn good nasi briyani at $5.50 :)

Caught up with my female cousins
(closest in age range and still single),
with a general agreement to meet up
intentionally through-out the year
instead of having small talk,
whilst stopping to accept hong baos
from the many uncles and aunts.
We did engage in a good 30 mins of conversation before
we had to part ways, with them going on another round
of visitations.

Another Aunt presented the hong-bao to me, not with well-wishes
but with the million dollar question: "Got boyfriend or not?"
I replied back in jest: "Don't have lah.
Ok, next year I get one for you."
She then said: "Not only one,
but one who will take care of your mother ok!"
Me: "Of course. That's why cannot rush mah.
Must slowly find. "
Tee hee.

My two married female cousins got the other million dollar question
shot at them on whether they each had a baby on the way,
all because both were wearing empire waist dresses.
One replied in a mixture of jest and sarcasm to my curious uncle:
"You ah, every year ask me the same question.
Ok lah, you'll see one in my arms next year. "

Reality check ladies.
We're in that potential age group now.
hurhur.

Also, more visits to see my dearest grandma.
I thank God once again for sustaining all 92 years of her,
and pray, God-willing, she'll remain to see not only new grandchildren,
but much more in the years ahead.

CNY greetings

2008-02-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

KPRBK Staff - CNY 2008

Little red bags + oranges and hong bao
courtesy of our boss,
pictured seated in center.

Happy CNY ppl! :)

Alive

2008-02-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since I have met You here
Since I have said these words or cried these tears
And like a child would come I run into our secret place
And as the music fades, the tears are rolling down my face

I am alive in this moment
In this moment I am found
I am alive in this moment
In this moment I belong

It's been so long since I have met You here
Since I have heard You speak or let You near
And like a wayward son I've come with nothing left to hide
Here in this moment I have come to offer up my life

Here only one fire burns, it burns
Here only one melody is heard
Once again for the very first time
My eyes are opening

Starfield - Alive in this moment

I was reminded of who I was,
By Aiko's alertness,
By Malcolm's enthusiasm,
By the new lives introduced,
by the innocence and grace shown.

May I be always learning,
and always seeking the First Teacher,
who is everything I am living for.

Partners

2008-01-22T16:57:00.000+08:00

I'm glad.

That my lao-shi, the nursery teacher and I
sat down with the boss after school
and ironed out our complicated timetables.

Main reason: My laoshi teaches both Nursery and K1 chinese.
And so, goes up and down after completing each lessson,
as both classes have chinese daily.

Today was a particularly hectic day,
with my K1s having computer lessons,
and chinese dance, on top of chinese and english lessons.
A day where some periods clashed,
which caused confusion and an inbalance
in the usage of time and manpower.

We sat down to discuss.
About giving equal teaching and transition time
for the main ppl, the kids,
that's a big step we've accomplished.
This will result, hopefully, in helping settle the kids,
who even after 3 weeks of school,
have not really settled,
due to so many changes.
My 25, I stress again.

One step at a time.
Thank you God for this meeting.

Glad too, that by some strange turn of events,
my lecture ended early today,
to give me time to now sit in the library to blog,
to reflect on today,
and think ahead for tomorrow.

Pls pray, got a class quiz on Thurs.
Topic: Home school partnerships with parents.

Just managed to squeeze in
an hour of studying at Gloria Jean's
after dinner with Dad,
and while waiting for Mum to end class.
Not too bad, but not too often too.
Coffees are a bomb on the pocket these days.

And now,
I need to sleep.
:)

Lead me, Lord.

2008-01-18T20:56:00.000+08:00

Saviour I come
Quiet my soul, remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as loss

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialled
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

25, the magic number that I see from Mon-Fri.
It's been a challenging week with the 25,
of getting feedback of concerned parents of the 25,
of finding out that half of the parents' support group
are volunteer parents of some of the 25
(I'm trying to see this in a positive light),
of coming to know that one of the 25
might have a life-threatening illness
which I am praying against,
and of course, teaching and disciplining the 25.

Lead me, Lord.
Take away the anxiety and the worry and
give me the strength which I desperately need.

I am thankful that like a light in the darkness,
my boy's mum, who happens to be a former teacher,
gave me encouragement and useful advice to handle the 25.
Something which hardly ever comes up without the usual:
"How's my child today?" conversations with parents of my kids.
She even offered an extra helping hand,
daily even, if needed.

I am also thankful for the prayer and sharing we had at Bats on Wednesday.
Thankful for brothers and sisters who gather to learn, share, encourage and pray.

Help me to keep my resolutions Lord.
Lead me to the cross.

Walkin'

2008-01-13T20:11:00.001+08:00

Miss Aiko Tye, having a walkabout with my shoes.

Mum and I took turns to babysit, while the Tyes were at Alpha.
An afternoon of games, drawing,
dancing and freezing when the music stops,
singing sunday school songs and the likes.
I thought it would be totally exhausting,
like after a day of work,
but it actually turned out to be quite enjoyable. haha.
Got a second invitation to go to their place,
which is two bus-stops away from mine,
and I promised I would try to go, soon.

Well, back to the shoes.
We all went barefoot to play games on the floor,
and after a while she spied my shoes under the table,
and while I was busy stamping out pictures for her,
she took a walk in them.

I joked that if she could wear mine, I could wear hers.
This brought on grins and protests of: "Nooooo......cannot".

Me: So if i wear your shoes, will it break?
Aiko: Break?? It's not glass you know! Toooo smalll lah.

Smart gal, whom I first blogged about here ;)

A week's reflection

2008-01-10T19:51:00.000+08:00

Teaching is a humbling profession,
I readily admit.

My 25 kiddos are warming up,
as I interact with them each day,
each individual with an interesting personality,
family background and personal habits.

I am also thankful now,
and a thousand other times in the past,
for a partner like my dear dear laoshi,
who has been a lifeline in more ways than one.
The horror stories of chinese teachers
being a nightmare, as told by my coursemates,
have not entered my workplace in recent months, yet,
though in the past, I did bad experiences with one.
Rude Awakenings, which I shall not go into.

She, of the cute china accented english,
who today pushed me on once again
when I started to worry about issues,
grappling with how small my classroom was to fit 25,
how the furniture never seemed to fit the space even
in all the different floor plans that we drew up,
the management of the kids with group work and play,
and the conflicting views of the Boss,
which just made it even more confusing.

Joy presented its much needed self,
when we solved our classroom arrangement today,
staying back to arrange and work out the issues
after observing the good and bad ways
that our kids have been using the space.

We awarded our
hungry tummies a nice lunch,
with the theme words flexibility
and change punctuating almost every sentence.
Yes, true accomplishment,
echoing this: Dong Xi Shi Si De, Ren Shi Huo De.

This I know,
that my line of work will always be a challenge,
in every aspect.
Complaints and feelings of resentment
are slowly fading away,
but do creep up in stress and
tension-filled situations in an instant,
with much regret.

I commit these to God,
knowing that what I think, do,
analyze and try to comprehend
will not be a clear and constant picture,
and that clarity in all things can only come from Him,
because humanly, it's just impossible
to have your senses kicking up
with so many things happening all at once.

To make it "work",
is just so much more than planning,
and even doing.
Acceptance, patience and being humble
comes into place, which I am still learning
as a person and teacher, even after 4 years.

Please keep me in prayer, dear friends.
I'm going to need alot of it.

To begin with...

2008-01-01T19:38:00.000+08:00

I Didn't Know

I didn't know that years of school and projects
would be of little consolation
when facing a room full of bright little eyes
on the first day of school.
I thought I was ready...

I didn't know that five minutes can seem like five hours
when there is idle time, and a school day far too short
for a well-planned day of teaching.

I didn't know that teaching children was only a fraction of my job.
No one tells you about the conferences and phone calls,
meetings and committees, paperwork and paperwork...

I didn't know that it took so long to cut out letters,
draw and color pictures and laminate,
all for those bulletin boards that were always "just there"...

I didn't know that I would become such a scavenger,
and that teaching materials would feel like pure gold in my hands...

I didn't know that an administration and co-workers
that support and help you could make such a difference...

I didn't know that there would be children
that I loved and cared for and stayed up late worrying about,
who, one day, would simply not show up.
And that I would never see them again...

I didn't know that I can't always
dry little tears and mend broken hearts.
I thought I could always make a difference…

I didn't know that the sound of children's laughter
could drown out the sound of all the world's sadness…

I didn't know that children could feel so profoundly.
A broken heart knows no age.

I didn't know that a single "Yes Miss/Mrs"
from a disrespectful child or a note in my desk
that says "You're the best!" could make me feel
like I'm on top of a mountain and
forget the valleys I forged to get there...

I never knew that after one year of teaching
I would feel so much wiser, more tired,
sadder and happier, all at once.

And that I would no longer call teaching my job,
but my privilege.

- Anonymous

A prayer much needed

2007-12-27T01:00:00.000+08:00

I gazed at the name-list today.
No surprise, I'm going to have
a multi-racial class again next year,
my own mini united nations,
as I like to call it.

I felt compelled to pray for this bunch
of 25 that I'll be seeing in a week's time.

Alot of worry, as the human nature in me naturally sees it.
About issues, that may or may not crop up.
About this coming year, that brings alot of uncertainty,
with changes already underway to the school and staff.

Please pray along with me,
as I ask God for wisdom in handling each situation
that comes my way, with the kids, with their parents,
with the whole school system,
that will be in my system, soon.

Tee hee

2007-12-24T16:49:00.000+08:00

hustle and bustle.

Dear Mum is preparing for the official CG "I'll be home for christmas"
gathering, and panicking, thinking of topics for win/lose/draw game.

She asked me to throw out some 'christmasy' topics,
and all i could think of was "er..red and green"?

Then it hits.
eh! how to draw red and green?

Catch me at a time when I'm doing things,
and my mind is not with you at all,
hence, my brain gives you answers like these.

Muahaha.
Even I am amused.

Get your fix

2007-12-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

This is shameless promotion, BUT.

I'm glad to announce that...
Botak Jones is open!

Bought my first Botak Jones meal today,
and had a nice dinner with Mum.
Be prepared to wait 15 mins if you're
ordering with the dinner crowd.

Take-away comes in nice packaged boxes
filled with all sorts of quotes from different people.
Interesting.

And the fries which they give
in generous amounts?
You can ask for less,
to avoid wasting food,
so they say.

well..
Back to de christmas assignment!
Am about 3 quarts done :)

of glory days and dust

2007-12-15T16:59:00.001+08:00

Finding some accomplishment
doing that "Christmas" assignment.

It's a professional development portfolio.
Which amounts to past certificates, awards,
doing up a resume etc, reflections on past/present
employment and the likes.

Out come the certs, yearbooks, newsletters,
photos and other interesting artifacts,
to compile this current one.

Hope to finish this, before Christmas.
Wait, I MUST finish.

oh, and I dug up my old dusty Pictionary board game
just yesterday and had some late night fun
battling it out drawing skills with Mum,
after sending my Aunt off at the airport.

Just for fun. haha.

Things

2007-12-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

Talking about fixes,
had a different one today.
Rocky Master has really nice
quesadillas, with sour cream and salsa dips.
Yummmay.
*Satisfied smile*

Wells.
Another practicum briefing today.
4 more months, my group-mate beside me said.
1:25 kids, I started internalizing.
3 evaluations, another group-mate reminded.
Plus a video recording, I added.

The things we have to do to get a diploma.
You could call this the FYP.
One of the lecturers constantly pokes me
in the back, leaving me quite irritated,
but now immune, to get a degree
as soon as I'm done with this dip.
You're young! It's only 18 months!

Hello, wait a minute.
I don't have to be reminded that I'm young,
and have a supposed endless energy supply
to slog it out on assignments and certificates.
Yes, I know studying IS important.
You drill it into our minds in school.
Tuition centers reap profits from it.
Our country lives and breathes education system and $$,
every single day.

And what's this I hear asking childcare teachers to work
from 7am till 8pm?
Top that with studying and getting upgrading,
we'll be dead tired when we get home.
S-A-C-R-I-F-I-C-E.
I've gotten that down to my very bones.
So you give baby bonuses
to encourage couples to produce more babies?
How about giving some love to us teachers too?
Don't we have a LIFE too? HUH?

Sorry for getting worked up about this,
but for good reason.
I'm thankful I don't work in childcare but.
Please lor. There's more to life than this.

My course-mates and I joked we should
start an early childhood union,
since there apparently isn't one yet.
The Rights of a teacher.
Now that would be something to talk about.

Aye, that was a good rant.
This is for all the teachers :)

Me and Mr Jones

2007-12-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

Finding out that Botak Jones is opening in a few days' time
at my neighbourhood food center just a road away, is a good thing.
Mum let out a shout of joy, when I told her the news.
My Aunt, who lives in the same block,
responded in a pretty excited tone, too.
And moi, the self-declared western food junkie,
just calmly delivered the news.
Ironic eh.
Thanks Timo for the info :)

Interesting though, that no inkling of a poster or store preparations
have been going on. Am I worried? Nah.
I can view this as a fad, like bubble tea.
The heart-land phenomenon best describes it.
I have eaten at Botak Jones before, hence not being super excited.
And I can always get my western fix practically anywhere.
Only difference, there's food court western food.
And there's restaurant style western food.
And there's of course, fast food western food, like Macs.

Tee hee. I can go into endless descriptions,
but there are other things that cloud my mind.
That was good news though,
to satisfy my western fix,
closer than ever this time.

To think:
The "christmas" assignment, due 4 days earlier.
The dreaded practicum. Official date of freedom: 30th May 2008
The never-ending projects. I need motivation.
Job Woes/Joys. Enough said.

I shall pray, and seek, and wait.

Strength will rise
as we wait upon the Lord.

Love and Laughs

2007-11-16T21:17:00.001+08:00

A collage of love gifts from the kids and their mums :)

Top left: Big thank you bouquet from
siblings whom I taught for two years back-to-back
Top right: 4 brands of chocs courtesy of Mums (yummy!)
Bottom left: Another bouquet, dried flowers this time
Bottom right: Early Christmas cards from the kids (so cute)

Last day of skoool!
Class partay and our very own Christmas play
put up by staff and Mums who volunteered.
Kids enjoyed it tremendously.

Not thrilled about the singspiration though.
Some crazy finger work for me trying to figure out
the melody and chords of Christmas carols,
suggested last minute by HER, my boss,
and the song list grew longer after I ended each song!
So now we're singing ALL the carols?!
What is this man.

Amusement and Embarrassment,
hearing HER sing off key and having weird rhythms,
her version of "We wish you a merry christmas"
going at top speed without warning.
I fiercely stuck to a constant beat,
but it already sounded er...bad.
Siao, i tell you.

After the celebrations, comes the news.
Two colleagues are leaving, yet again.
Sadness, best wishes, sisters always.
We have stopped asking the why,
because it's already a duh answer.
Lessons in relationships and growing through all this.

In the works: gathering of old and new colleagues at my laoshi's place, soon.

To look forward to: Holidays, BAY camp, gatherings with friends,
and gaining back much needed sleep :)

Joyous

2007-11-10T20:02:00.000+08:00

THE concert was a blast.
Kinda used to the hype after 4 years,
but still, the feelings I mentioned in
my previous post kick up each year
I watch my kids dance and sing.
Like a proud mum, really.
haha.

Had fun, putting on blusher and lipstick for the kids,
negotiating with the boys and even some girls,
that they only needed to put make-up twice a year,
and if they really did'nt like it,
I would put "a beeeet" for them. LOL.

Main reason: That their faces won't look deathly pale.
So after being made up,
their faces can then be captured,
on video and in photographs.

Now you know eh.
Kindy teachers do not ask boys to
put on make-up for fun.
Like c'mon.
I did tease some of my boys though :)
"Lipstick time!..come herrree.."
Couldn't resist, tee hee.

The tactic worked, though during rehearsal
two boys wiped off their lipstick onto their
shirts in a split second after we applied it for them,
leaving red streaks.
My laoshi fumed, cos the shirts were for her item.
They were obedient today though :)

Great thing is, I get Monday off! :))
Come Tues, we're gonna watch
"If you give a mouse a cookie"
a play at the Black Box @ NLB.

Happy/tired/accomplished/happy.

Before you know it.

2007-11-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

Soon, the annual concert will be over.
A nice ending to a year
of school, teaching and knowing this
incredible bunch of 5 year olds.

It's true.
In this profession, parental instincts kick in,
looking at "how they grow up so fast!"
Not just physically,
but in speech, thoughts and actions.

Seeing them dance and sing today,
dressed in their costumes
with the spotlight shining on them
during our full dressed rehearsal for the concert
did stir up these emotions.
The sense of pride, of accomplishment and fulfillment somewhat,
that I've been a part of their lives,
and looking forward to seeing them for another year
as they move on to K2.

Treasuring the time I have with them,
in this last week of school,
yet looking forward to the hols.

Mixed emotions indeed.

Perfectly unpitched

2007-10-29T23:00:00.000+08:00

Just got a phone-call from my boss
about the children's pitch in singing
our theme song for the concert.

According to her, we sang off-key
during key changes and sounded terrible.
And yet, we were improving in some way
and there was nothing wrong with the song
and arrangement.

Contradicting, this nature of hers
which is super irritating and bugs us on end.
So what if the kids can't hit the right note sometimes.
And it doesn't help that half the time she wasn't around for our practices.

So what do you want now?

Yes. Me and my colleagues are pissed.
And I strongly disagree with her.
1) They're kids!
2) Our school is not a choir.
3) And I repeat. We're dealing with kids
and we are not a choir.
4) Hello woman! (If I dared to call her that)
how much time do we have before the actual concert?
er, not much! So please wake up your idea.

Professionally speaking,
we are not professional singers.
I'm proud of them
for even accomplishing
actions and lyrics,
which is already difficult at their age.

And no, I am not compromising
the quality of their sound by not being concerned
with the pitching.
It's just absurd to be perfect in pitch
when they're so young!
I'm not even talking about being musically inclined here.

I shall stop ranting now.
*Shakes head*

A pleasant surprise

2007-10-29T22:22:00.001+08:00

And he, from two previous posts ago,
has finally danced!

Help came in the form of the familiar presence known as MUM,
who after a heart-to-heart
came down this morning to meet me with
this boy, her oldest son
with a hundred personalities.

Yup, he's a tough one,
very different in his behaviour at home.
Added to the fact,
Mum is now expecting the fourth child,
which I personally feel is
a major balancing act for the family,
and causing him to express his insecurities.
Even then, I'm thankful for his mum's understanding,
and willingness to help in the situation
by talking it out with him.
Parents who work well with you
are indeed a blessing.

His mum did explain he does dance,
but only in the privacy of his home,
watching the famous purple dinosaur
and happily following the programs on tv.
Among friends in school, he feels shy
and does not want to.
Well, that could be a valid reason.

So after months of him having self imposed punishment
during music lessons and concert item practices,
sitting at the side and refusing to participate at all,
it was a surprise for all of us,
not so much that he could dance, but more of
watching him doing his amazing recall of the steps,
like he actually joined us in regular practices.

This meant he watched, of course,
and remembered,
even without moving a single bit
all those times.

It's kinda like hearing a piece of music,
not telling anyone you know or can play it,
and then playing it with almost no mistakes
in front of an audience.
The jawdrop effect, I think.
Or just hidden talent.

This really is a glimpse,
of what children's minds are made of.
You'll never know, really.

Mused?

2007-10-26T18:45:00.000+08:00

Speak, I'm listening.
Talk, It bridges understanding.
Pray, It's us and Him.
Write, It's therapeutic and fills in certain blanks.

Btw, it's 7 minutes to my project meeting.
This is me killing time with
my random musings while
waiting for the rest of my dear ladies/coursemates
to get to class.

Currently starting on a new module,
aptly titled Professional Development.
It's a back to basics look on
the all important question:
Why do I want to be an Early Childhood Educator?

Joke of the day after reading one of the qns on
a self-reflecting survey given by the lecturer during class:

Q: What do you do for leisure or for fun? Are you having fun now?
Class Response: Assignments! What do you think!

Hehe.
Stress has come to the point
of talking nonsense to relieve it.
Some comic relief, if you will.

The official practicum letter
has been given out.
8 more months of this.
It seems inevitable.

Somewhere only we know

2007-10-21T20:11:00.000+08:00

It didn't feel weird,
it really felt like we
were functioning like how we used to.

I will stop asking the
could-have-beens,
because what's done is done.

Have we moved on?
For you, after all that has happened,
I know there's circumstances,
other individuals to consider,
to take care of,
but there is the calming knowledge
to know you're still around,
and that I can still,
spend time with you.

Yes we've been through a million questions
and long heart-to-hearts,
cold wars and flashbacks.
Forgiveness was very difficult,
and there was, and somewhat still is,
anger and sadness,
though much of it has gone down by now.
You are still my flesh and blood,
and I still care and love you.

Now as life goes by,
I still can wish, pray and hope.
Typing this brings tears and fears.
I do miss you, knowing you'll be so far away.

So please take care of yourself,
and your health.
See you, in a month's time.

You don't dance?

2007-10-17T16:54:00.000+08:00

I have come closer to the realisation,
even after 3 years of 3 seperate concert items,
how important it is to help my kids
enjoy music. So much goes into it.
The memorisation, the rhythm, the repetitive steps,
and for dance, the co-ordination.

When you finally see them accomplish all of the above,
it's amazing. Proud of my 5 year olds.
For dancing so well during practices,
singing their lungs out, sometimes to
the point of shouting,
but it's all good though.

But, One has rebelled.
Even after encouraging,
then losing patience, then scolding,
the fella refuses to budge.
Dragging him to his place causes
him to freeze totally.
Then the defiant face,
which I can't stand honestly,
then today, the crying.
My laoshi and I fumed and threatened,
leaving us more tired and frustrated,
in the end.

We talked about it as the kids were having their snack.
What for get so worked up over it.
If he doesn't want to dance, so be it.
I don't believe in forcing, neither does she.
Even though in furious teacher moments, of course it happens.
I fumed to the point I was really mad,
but had to stop and question myself.
Though we have probed him for the umpteenth time,
he still refuses to tell us the reason why
he just doesn't want to dance.
Well, something must be going on.
But it's a mystery, currently.

We concluded,
he'll just have to sit at the side
on the actual day,
like what he's been doing at recent practices.
Sigh. A phone-call with his Mum, soon.

Don't stress, my laoshi says.
There are days, and there are days.

Once again

2007-10-16T20:41:00.000+08:00

There's the daily problem.
with doing and thinking about things,
then there's people,
then there's time.

To be humble and quiet before God.
To ask Him for strength and love.
To experience and then,
give out that strength and love.
And experience the fruits.
And reflect and be thankful.

I ask of that now.
As each day presents a new challenge,
and work piles up,
and I find myself being stretched to the point,
there's no room to breathe.

And I commit these things,
once again.

Here it comes

2007-10-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

Pink, white and blue.
Got the papers with details of the practicum
in April 08, signifying 8 more months,
and what my coursemates term:
The end of the tunnel,
the long road ahead..
It'll be over before you know it...
SOON!

To fulfill 200 hours with the kids.
To be prepared, for whatever comes.
I'll be knowing my supervisor
when Feb arrives.
Mum just got news of hers too.

Just breathe.

At Random

2007-10-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

Tummy tantrums of late.
I wiki-ed sharp pains in
the stomach out of boredom,
and got a whole
lot of scary definitions.

Concert practices are turning up a notch.
One month to go till actual day.
Almost settled with the costumes
and the other stuff.
Kids' clothes ain't cheap.

Compiled our science project today,
screaming under our breaths:
" We have no life!"
with my dear group mate helping me,
compiling, editing, stressing,
at the printer shop
with our stack of lesson plans and work.
Due tommorow, this took up our saturday
and half a day of our supposed children's day holiday.
The print shop uncle commented we've been spending alot
of our money printing
and binding from our first project till now.
His wife encouraged us with "Jia you, yao wan le!"
Not yet lah.

I seriously. Can't wait. For this to be over.
Had this sudden urge to take up driving,
seeing all the L plate white cars drive by
my place, and enjoying a ride with Aunty P
as she drove us to Mac to have a quick bite
and rest our tired bodies from the heat
and the built up stress.

Mid Autumn Musings

2007-09-23T00:11:00.001+08:00

It was great fun.
Being with the kids,
watching them filling in each detail
with each colour,
getting excited,
especially hearing the "5 more minutes!"
seeing them trying to find the exact colour
amongst the mess of crayons and colouring things.

Also, Lighting a traditional lantern
can't be done in a hurried fashion.
It was crazy, finding lighters and trying to
burn and fit that darn candle into the ridiculous
4 metal things, hoping that candle would stay,
and not burn up everything.

I seriously think something should be
done to change those metal things
into a proper holder for the candle.
Which will probably help to resolve the
problems of lanterns being burnt
to a charred mess ,
and more kids enjoying themselves, yes? :)

One of my girls was really well prepared.
She brought paint, a container, brushes,
and a whole collection of crayons.
Unfortunately time did not permit for painting.
Another boy had a big Spongebob lantern
which looked damn cute,
but had music and light problems.
Respect to his Dad who ran to 7 eleven
to get batteries for Mr Spongebob
just so his son could continue
his lantern walk, with
"It's a small world after allll!!"

Special Thank you to Abel and Joanne!
Had an awesome time taking care of the
kids with you two.

Yup, definitely a night to remember :)

One fine day

2007-09-11T21:40:00.001+08:00

Bad throat and slight fever,
hence a day of rest.
Some time alone,
Some things to do, still.
Some thoughts to pursue.

A visit to the clinic,
a number taken,
a weird doctor
who asked weird qns
and kept sniffing under his arms(!)
for some weird reason,
whilst writing out my prescription
and MC slip.

Smiling, looking at kids play
in a little tikes playhouse,
left at the side of the clinic,
for their amusement.

Watching a busy little boy,
probably aged 4 walk to and fro,
obviously bored, seeing his mum
get all flustered
with his moving around.
Hearing him trying to engage his mum
in a conversation with his cute voice,
and missing another bunch
of 5 year olds who didn't get to
see me today. Sigh.

Haha.
Even on sick days,
like it or not,
I still think of them,
and my dearest laoshi who has to
hold the fort for the hours
I'm MIA.
Having others relief you ain't good.
No matter how sick you are,
you still feel bad.

Back, tmr, soon :)

Beep

2007-09-03T18:40:00.000+08:00

My phone has called in "sick".

Got suspicious when my msg tone
was suddenly reduced to a beep,
and the music logos started breaking up
as I scrolled down.
Then, the screen froze.
Couldn't switch it off.
Panicked of course.

Off to the Nokia Centre at Wheelock
this morning for repairs.
Will be getting it back tmr, oh well.
Using my old 6610 with the nice
polyphonic ringtones, for now.

Watching Hairspray tmr.
The hair, the clothes!
Blast from the past.
Yeah, baby.

Mmm.

2007-08-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

Good qn eh?

Read this article in a Nat Geo mag
while reveling in a few hours of
after work me-time,
with a subway salad (rocks!)
and iced tea for company.

Too bad it was for browsing purposes only,
property of Subway.
If only it was mine to keep.
I have loved Nat Geo mags since my sec school days,
the never-ending glossy photos
and the tons of historical facts and other info.
But subscribing to it is just ex,
so have to be contented with browsing copies
found in libraries and other assorted places.

The above is actually part of a report
comparing different countries from all over
on how much leave parents are given
after their child is born.
Good to know.

I also chanced upon this website featuring Nat Geo photographs.
Inspired to take better photos :)
check it out: Visions of Earth

The simple joys

2007-08-27T21:42:00.000+08:00

Children of a younger age,
in their simple ways,
fill me up with joy
and amazement,
especially in their learning moments.

The pre-nursery bunch in my school
are amusing to watch at Assembly time.
The random, spur of the moment qns
and the ability to do actions
giving it all they've got.
Even better,
the proud and loud singing
of the National Anthem is
just too cute not to laugh.
"Bersatuuuuu.....".

Last evening, I spent some time
with Kate and Aiko, two little girls
of different ages growing up amongst
the fast expanding brood of little ones
in our church in recent years.

Fascinated with a mini digital alarm which
went "beep!" a million times,
and moving about much to the frustration
of her grandma and desperation of her maid
and parents trying to eat their dinner,
Little Kate was a handful, refusing to sit still.
Little oohs and aahs were echoed with every new face
she met and every new thing she touched.

After a challenging card game of
shapes, numbers and junk food
with her big brother Atticus,
Aiko pounced on me with a back massager
and a piggy back ride even before I could protest.
She then accompanied me while I played guitar
singing the all time fav "Twinkle, Twinkle...".
First duet with a 3 year old. So cute.

The Tyes gave me and Mum a lift home,
with her requesting to sit on my lap in the backseat.
Non-stop jumping and moving injected with
conversation was just exhausting and amusing.
My tummy and lap never felt so 'tortured'.
Next on the list was the Barney theme song,
tickling, endless qns and a cheerful
invitation to come visit her "Grandoor 8" home,
with a promised special viewing of
her heart shaped bed in her room.
"You must come to my house, ok?"

Today.
After dismissing my kids at 2.30pm,
bumped into the Leong family outside the office.
Mum recently gave birth to Baby No.4,
and we had a chat while she cradled the little one
fast asleep in her arms.
Her 2 older ones were my former students,
and No.3 is now in the Nursery PM class.

No.4!
I am truly amazed, and of course joyous for them.
Bringing children into the world
and raising them for almost half your lifetime.
I can only imagine if I had my own to begin with.

To love and to give, beyond measure
and in great amounts.
Without complaint and ill thoughts.
That's a whole difference altogether.
Something which God is still helping me to grow in,
by His first example for us.
To love the unloved,
and the ones we find hard to love.
Yes it is a struggle.
For all the patience and silent sufferings
we could possibly endure,
we can only do so much.

I'm thankful for these simple joys
and simple amounts of love
brought forth in every situation.
To remind me once again,
To pray, and to ask, and to love,
without condition.

Just Green

2007-08-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

Vanda Miss Joaquim

Went for a field trip to the Singapore Botanic Gardens on Tues,
Part of our science module and also
a much needed mini break to experience
a new learning environment for tired teachers. hah.
Though this trip is the start of
a 3 part Science assignment / project,
and the thought of the workload is depressing,

the feeling of
1 ) not facing a million qns thrown at you by the kids
2 ) not going to work in itself
was all quite uplifting.

Felt like we were playing truant. haha.
Some peace and quiet for a day,
7 hours a day with them is enough, really.

A guided tour by a botanist who gave us his words of wisdom
with the history and stories of each plant, tree and flower
was very inspiring.
Walking out in the open, seeing grassy fields,
tall trees and the array of flowers
made me appreciate and thank our Creator
for such beauty and wonder
that even our human senses can't fully comprehend.

Amazing hybrids of orchids at the National Orchid Garden,
which is situated within SBG,
and which we later visited on our own.
Took an insane amount of pics
till my cam batt and card space ran out,
will try to pick the nicer ones to upload.

Vanda Miss Joaquim
for sale

Fun-facts: The Vanda Miss Joaquim, our national flower,
is not an original but a hybrid,
which was bred by Miss Agnes Joaquim herself,
and later made public.
If you've got green fingers and loads of time,
You can actually buy your own VMJ hybrid and grow it (shown in above pic)
The little hybrids are found in the Risis shop at the exit of the Orchid Gardens.

One more thing on my to-do list,
to go visit the gardens again, hopefully soon :)

42!

2007-08-10T00:15:00.001+08:00

We braved pushing and shoving
among sweaty bodies and taking little steps
each time the huge crowd of people moved forward.
Just to enter one single entrance to the Padang.

We were told they were anticipating 9600 people.
Haha, no wonder. It was madness.
Some brought along children who were caught in the ruckus.
Tears and grouchy faces came. My heart went out to them.
A little while more, and we would going in soon.

The songs, the umbrellas, the people.
The atmosphere was just brimming
with anticipation and excited voices.
Everyone was given a square box to sit,
with umbrellas at the side.

We did a few rehearsals for the formations,
whilst waiting for the parade to start.

Open formation doesn't mean open your umbrella.
It means wait for the whistle, then open.
Line formation means opening one line at a time.
Wave formation starts with the first row squatting down,
and then standing up, still holding your umbrella.
Close formation means hearing the whistle,
then closing your umbrella.

Cool eh.

After the item, at about 7,
we could finally relax and watch the parade.

And of course,
fantastic view of the fireworks at the end!

I'm keen for next year! haha.
Ironically, I am part of Young NTUC,
which has sponsored my course fees.
Not bad at all.

Anyways, for more photos,
Go see my flickr photostream.

Happy National Day!

A Surprise Visit

2007-08-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

Mum joined me at work
yesterday and today,
as she needed to carry out her lesson plan
with my 5 year olds for assignment purposes.

My boss was more than thrilled.
Popped by as Mum was finishing to give her comments.
Sure must say something one.
Boss what. haha.

It was quite fun, a little stressed,
helping her in preparations and stuff.
I gave her a short 'briefing'
on the different personalities of each of my kids,
the chilli padi, the quiet and noisy ones,
the ones that ask good thinking qns. Teehee.

So cute to see my kids warm up to her,
and I had to stop myself everytime
I felt like calling her Mum at the tip of my tongue.

Yes, it's best to let that remain a secret.
To my kids, that is. Haha.
Now they know her as the science teacher
who popped by for a short two days.

Tmr, it's red and white, with songs and games
for half a day, and food and flags to end off
our celebrations for our nation's birthday.

And i'm going for the parade!
Aunt got tickets from her company :)
Will be part of the Young NTUC gang,
carrying umbrellas.
Will be getting a goodie bag at the end of it,
and celebrating with millions of others...
SO exciting :)

I promise if my hands are free of the umbrella,
I'll snap some photos.
As of now, all I know is we gotta be at the padang
at 3pm on 9 Aug.

Which reminds me, Altogether now!
Umbrella ella ella...eh eh eh.
hahaha.

Ahem!

2007-08-05T21:36:00.000+08:00

Went Kboxing today.
First time with ex sec sch buddies,
a belated birthday treat :)
Dim the lights, turn on the mic,
and scream your lungs out!

It was hilarious,
recalling boy and girlband hits
from way back, plus some oldies.
Seeing laggy lyrics and hearing weird harmonies.
Bursting into laughter at our failed attempts
to rap on a Blue number.
Uh huh, Uh huh, Yo.

See if you can guess the lines from these songs that go way back.

1)Am I original? Am I the only one?
2)You have got to give...Taking is too easy and that's the way it is!
3)And all that glitters is gold..only shooting stars break the mold.
4)Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me.
5)I'm am a taxidrivermaann!
6)I must confess.. I still believe...still believe!

And the ultimate of the lot,
that got us in hysterical laughter
was this weird song with strange lyrics
which we intially thought was in the techno genre.
But..Oops..was actually from the FAME soundtrack!
serenading venus and mars, embodying the earth
and being one with the sun? what the?
and the part where it goes,
in time, in time...we will all be stars?
we just couldn't stop laughing.
couldn't. stop.

Here it is..

I sing the body electric
I celebrate the me yet to come
I toast to my own reunion
When I become one with the sun

And I'll look back on Venus, I'll look back on Mars
And I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time, and in time, we will all be stars

I sing the body electric
I glory in the glow of rebirth
Creating my own tomorrow
When I shall embody the earth

And I'll serenade Venus, I'll serenade Mars
And I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time, and in time, we will all be stars

We are the emperors now, and we are the czars
And in time, and in time, we will all be stars

I sing the body Electric
I celebrate the me yet to come
I toast to my own reunion, my own reunion
When I become one with the sun

And I'll look back on Venus, I'll look back on Mars
I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time, and in time, and in time, and in time
And in time, and in time, we will all be stars

We did a video of us singing,
National day inspired-style.
My dear M, who lost her voice
after our mad moments,
refuses to send it to me and H,
in fear that we would post it on youtube.
And expose us, in all our craziness!

Nvm, Photos gal!

Heeheehee.

A Greater Song

2007-07-22T20:44:00.000+08:00

A Greater Song - Paul Baloche and Matt Redman

Who could imagine a melody
True enough to tell of Your mercy?
Who could imagine a harmony
Sweet enough to tell of Your love?
I see the heavens proclaiming You day after day,
And I know in my heart that there must be a way

To sing a greater song,
A greater song to You on the earth.
To sing a greater song,
A greater song to You on the earth.

Who could imagine a symphony,
Grand enough to tell of Your glory?
Our highest praise but a feeble breath
A whisper of Your thunderous worth.

I see the heavens proclaiming You day after day,
And I know in my heart that there must be a way

To sing a greater song,
A greater song to You on the earth.
To sing a greater song,
A greater song to You on the earth.

Hallelujah, we want to lift You higher,
Hallelujah, we want to lift You higher.

22..with love.

2007-07-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

This love, You gave.

Shown through my dear parents.
For nurturing and giving me more than I could ever ask for.

Shown through a smile,hug and laugh on an indescribable bunch of 5 year olds.
Expressed with promises of the best present ever, amusingly.

Shown through colleagues and friends who are always there,
to encourage, pray and cry together.

Shown through colours and layers of sweet brown,
with strawberries, coffee and lighted fires to celebrate.

Shown through little gifts and messages, which I still feel paiseh, to receive.

Shown through a surprising knock on the door at 10pm just now!
You guys, endless thanks and love for taking the time :)

Shown through brothers and sisters who have been a blessing
in one way or the other.

What more can I say?
But to be grateful and give thanks
For everything in these 22 years.

And so much more, to come.

Take my life and let it be,
Ever only, all for Thee.

Wheee.

2007-07-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

Save the planet. Answer the call. Wear green!
which has been blaring on channel 5
for the past 24 hours.
Live Earth, is now officially over.

Woah. What a weekend.
Weather's been burning lately.
Wearing Black just makes it worse.

Say hello to Mr Giant Bunny,
presented in all its cream and coconut glory
at my dear J's farewell party.
With cherries for eyes, coloured cream for carrots,
and cardboard cut-outs
for ears, a sight to behold!
And it has a cute bunny tail on its butt.
haha. My laoshi couldn't bear to cut it up.
We eventually did, butt first,
and surprise,
all chocolatey stuff inside!
My kids joked that the bunny
has finally gone to do its business! haha :)

2kg from Begawan Solo ok!
Must have cost a bomb.
Well, Dearest J is going back to Ireland, sob!
Will miss his blonde hair, blue eyes
and cute accent.
And his parents' warmth and friendship.

Rehearsals for Church anniversary.
To finish at 10.28 or not.
Slumber party at Joel's!
Funtime with my cellies!
Truth/dare and plenty of Catch A Phrase.
Getting sentimental on Backside boys and Lemon Trees.
And i must say this.
Shawn Chia is a goood guitarist!
Jia you, Jia you!

Then, Dinner at Hilton hotel.
Sorry, no sightings of Paris-just-got-released-Hilton, haha.
Kudos to the two for their acting.
It's nice when a couple makes an effort to engage their guests,
even at their own wedding dinner.
Trigger happy moments and egads! shark's fin!
Which i shamefully ate, due to a rumbling tummy.
Ok, you can stone me now :P

Dearest Sis got baptised today.
At east coast park.
Welcome to the family! :)

And..I'm done with 3 quarters of my assignment!
Freedom awaits.
awaits.
awaits.

On a high

2007-07-02T17:52:00.000+08:00

the level, dude!
this is shermie, eating a guava in slow mo.

"Come let's go walk-walk".
It's interesting to shop with
the younger youths.
Yes. admit it, we're getting old!
haha, anyways.
With them,
it's laughing about the slightest
crazy thing and yes,
when one goes, all follow.

Who wants to go toilet?
Who wants to buy drink?
Anyone hungry?
Just to name a few.

My 5 year olds have this syndrome too.
Somehow bladders are incontrollable
at the mention of the word toilet.
And when one wants a second helping,
almost all do.

Copycat? Or just human nature? haha.

Walked around Novena Square / Velocity
with the rest yesterday before Joel's party
some to get presents, others like me,
to walk-walk, see-see and chill.

They were having
the lose your hair, light a heart
donation draw.
For the children's cancer foundation.
yeah, off with the locks
and in comes the $.

Ironic to see all the guys getting macho
and stepping up to the challenge,
even a father and son did it together.
Whereas the lady helpers with long rebonded hair
just ushered them in.

Would I lose my locks?
hmm. for a good cause, why not.
Maybe when I've stopped working, haha.
If now, heart pain lah. hehe.

The unbearable lightness of being..happy.

2007-06-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

Just a few days ago,
thoughts of my precious 4 week break
(techinically, two and a half)
ending so soon brought me to a low.
The feeling was much worse
when the weekend hit,
like What! So soon!
Yesterday's fellowship with V
and watching the guys play soccer
brought it to a nice closure,
with some reassurance.

I'm thankful I finally spent my holidays
in the best way possible,
meeting up with dear friends whom
I haven't seen and heard from in a very long while
and talking about other things
than work and the never-ending assignments.

Today, being D-day,
the supposed most stress filled
day out of all the others
in a school year. How was it?
Well, Fantastic, really.

Stepped into the hall
to be greeted by smiles,
excited voices and
cool new haircuts,
and hearing my name
on repeat mode.
Class time was filled
with eager voices
waiting to tell me
what happened
in the four weeks
since I last saw them.

Surprise rose,
then the tons of qns came.
Next, the official Term 3 class tour.
And settling of K1 class admin matters
regarding certain individuals designated
to be group leaders for a week,
or to bring back the long overdue
report book from last term
which Mummy and Daddy had to sign
and give back to me ASAP.
Well, it's been a month. Sure forget right :)
Then munchtime, good old cornflakes and milk.
Then Lao-shi's turn to take-over.

Pretty much the same for the PM session
with more cute haircuts and excitement.
Ended the day with an apple to whet my already
growing appetitie and a heart-to-heart
with my Lao-shi on groupings and
classroom management.

Icing on the cake?
My boss dropped in twice to check on the kids
with praise for our setting up of corners
and our good partnership.
And my lao-shi has learnt to say: "Settle le!"
which sounds cute in her china-accented English.

I'm happy.
For no tears and troubles.
No spills and fights.
Just warmth, smiles
and a bond that lasted two terms
and just got renewed
interacting with these indescribable
bunch of 5 year olds again.

Much, much love :)

Nellyjoy!

2007-06-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

My friend's selling accessories, bags,
clothes and more!

Do come and check out her pushcart
outside National Library :)
11.30am-730pm, till this sunday only!

For more info: click here!

Church Camp Pics 07

2007-06-11T20:38:00.000+08:00

CAMP 07!

2007-06-08T01:31:00.000+08:00

*drumroll*.......
YES.
It's finally here!

In a few hours,
we'll be on a coach across
the second link
to a place called Pulai Springs.
For our annual church camp! =)

Yours truly will be on blog hiatus,
with effect from tmr onwards.
Well, till when I get back on Mon.

Cya soon!

Ready?

2007-06-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

Holidays have been good so far.

Attended these two conferences,
a saturday apart.
Both inspiring, both interesting,
both applicable, but in different contexts.

Yup, shall not generalise too much.
Good to have the input,
after so much of output =)
To be serious,
to love,
to serve.
It's not easy.

Church camp in approx. 5 days!
Continue praying ppl,
for hearts and minds,
for open-ness
for so many other things.
Most of all, For God to speak forth
to YOU. What HE wants for you, this camp.

Give us clean hands,
Give us pure hearts,
Let us not lift our souls to another

O God let us be
a generation that seeks your face
O God of Jacob

Give us clean hands - Charlie Hall

Random Bliss

2007-05-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

GDOP yesterday.
Great time of prayer, worship and
just being reminded to the core,
of what our lives should reflect.
Thanks Leon, for praying together.
Thanks Winsome, for the fun bus ride.
I will think before I bite into a sticky lollipop,
next time! heh.

Back to school today.
washing toys, throwing papers,
rubbish etc from the cupboards.
Keep in touch Ivy!

Blades of Glory in a few hours' time.
Holidays have officially begun!
As you can tell,
I'm quite high now.

:)

Beautiful Day

2007-05-23T19:11:00.001+08:00

Yep it certainly was.
Fulfilling, fruitful, er.. fab?
Excellent talk-time with the
Dads and Mums.

A load off my mind,
freedom in 2 days' time!

Went grocery shopping
with Laoshi in the end.
Too tired to shop for clothes
and material things.
So, carrying bags of veggies
and assorted stuff from Cold Storage,
we headed to Toast Box.
Our last shopping trip
left us wanting to hop in
there for some tea and toast.
So in we went, to settle down
to some nice ambience
and snacks.

All I can say is,
we wanna go back for more.
On stress filled days when heads
are about to burst and thoughts collide.
ONZ! Lol :)

Deep Within

2007-05-22T21:57:00.001+08:00

Stuck at home, on MC today.
Lost part of my voice,
accompanied with coughs
and the icky phlegm.
Think it's the pep talks
I've been giving my kids daily.

The doctor gave me lozenges
and advised me to drink lotsa H2O,
and barley water.
He laughed, upon hearing my profession,
saying it's a good thing i'm
not one of those teachers who sees
him every six weeks.
Ooh, I was once like that.
2 years ago when I first started out.
Couldn't take the stress and all.
Wouldn't like to repeat that, Noooo.
Medical fees are costly on the pocket.
More exercise, more healthy food,
no peanuts(!), more water.

In a few hours,
I will be meeting
concerned (I hope so)
Mums and Dads asking qns
about their 5 year olds
for the whole duration of my
working hour, with a half-hour
lunch break in between.

As each year goes by,
and I talk to groups of
parents of these 5 year olds in my care,
Communication is indeed a key factor
that helps you overcome that fear,
that self-doubting,
nervous wreck of a person
you might become in that period of time.

What to say? Will I say it right?
What will they think?
Am I professional enough?

What helps tremendously,
though with unknowing subtlety,
are the phone-calls and chats
you have when the parents come
to pick them up or send them to school,
before this big day comes.
The "Hi, __ tells me she learnt __ today",
or the " yes, he's sick and won't be coming"
breaks the ice gradually.

Amusing these conversations can be,
especially when singlish comes up in a sputter,
which is strongly discouraged, but in our context,
can't be helped lah.
Also, when the kid,
stuck at home for some reason,
mutters a few words to you to seal the conversation
in permanent friendly, rapport established mode.

So prepared I shall be.
With prayer and confidence.
Discuss, evaluate, agree, conclude?

My laoshi sms-ed me this amusing msg in chinese,
which I promptly tried to reply,
using the pinyin function on my phone.
I promised to shopshop with her
after we end our 6 hour exchange with the parents,
to de-stress :)

"My dearest princess, (I have no idea why she would call me that?!)
are you feeling better? Sum up your strength for our battle tommorow,
don't forget we still have shoping" . (Yes, she spells it that cute way)

LOL :)

Something to sleep to..

2007-05-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

Sarah Mclachlan. Lady power.

Tristan Prettyman feat Jason Mraz.
Really nice acoustic song.

Glad this blog is...

2007-05-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

Back!

To normal!
Colours, functions and all.
Thank you Graham for the website!!

And yes, after 5 hours,
we are done with our power-point for
tomorrow's presentation!
Done!

We did a book review on Tico and the golden wings.
By famous children's author, the late Leo Lionni.
Fantastic art and very inspiring.

Read more about him
and his books here.

Weekend Wonders

2007-05-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

Ben cools Carmen down with a splash,
while Josh gets ready to rumble.

Shadowed,
in the mighty hot sun.

If everyday was this simple.

Some fun in the sun on a Saturday.
With my cellies on Palawan Beach, Sentosa :)
Having sunburnt shoulders,
which are still red, and hurting.
But it was worth it.
Celebrated Winsome's bday :)
With chocolate cake and gifts.
Then ball games
and messing about in the sand.
More fun in the sea.
And a flurry of water bombs.
Oh yes, and we saw a
mixed German-Chinese boy.
Blond hair, big eyes,
only a mere 14 mths old.
SO cute lah. For picture proof,
ask Yvonne and Winsome.

One more week!
It seems damn fast, but with
occasional pauses.
There's two things left to conquer.
Meet-the-parents session
and paired presentation / book report.
Right now, am having fun with my kids
learning about healthy food.

Freedom awaits, sooon! :)

It's a web slinging, food munching time.

2007-05-07T21:08:00.000+08:00

Hungry tummies call for good food.
Teochew Muay, Grass Jelly and Soya Bean.
No peanuts though.
Dad joked I should have a peanut detector.
Yeah right :) If I could make one, I'll earn tons.
And probably another cream for hives. haha.

Oh, and don't you think
today was a gloriously sunny day?
My kids loved it. It means they can go
and have their freedom in the playground
for a good half hour.
You know, to let out their inner monster,
or that superhero from last night's show.

And yes, Spidey 3 is now a common topic
in their conversations.
Peter Parker looks emo, with dangerous fringe and all.
Had a good talk about it with my boys over lunch.
"Miss Tan, you know the bad guy?
Blue colour, got sharp teeth"
"Spiderman is not bad, it's because of Venom"
"Miss Tan, I know Spiderman has a g/f"
"Miss Tan, Spiderman got three suits you know"
"Spiderman punched the sandman. So much sand!"

And they weren't the slightest bit surprised
when I told them that Hey, I watched it too :)
And explained to them that Sandman
is actually GOOD. sick daughter, blablabla.
In between lunch and lessons,
comes the ultimate Spidey action,
the sliding and wrist flinging
imaginary web thing
across the classroom floor.
Which I sometimes close one eye to,
but other times they do get a warning
to be careful not to injure themselves.

Yes, they made my day.
Today was a particular good one :)

Memories

2007-05-07T21:01:00.000+08:00

3 years have come and gone.
Yet it feels you're still around.
In smiling photographs
and material things.
We miss you.
We always will.
Much love.

So much more than this

2007-05-05T18:13:00.000+08:00

It was four weeks of project madness.
Conducting lesson plans, editing, referencing, citations.
Staring at the laptop screen till
my head ached and eyes went blurry.
End result: Poor health and a stupid allergy.
I'm just glad it's over.
My course-mates and I were so relieved
we finally dropped our nicely binded booklet
into the assignment bin at our school.
Like we've been doing for the past year
as each assignment comes.
Except now we feel the workload
is increasing by each module.

I'm now left with a year to go in my studies.
Colleagues tell me, it'll be over before I know it.
Lectures have been really enjoyable,
I love my lecturers to bits.
They encourage, support and are always
open for a good laugh in class.

I love the ladies in my class.
We're a pretty tight bunch,
so much so we've won praise
for our good attitude towards
our studies from the lecturers.
That aside, we're siao onz.
And a bit KS too.
Every special occasion
is made special by someone.
Lou Hei, Easter eggs, you name it.
Makes studying a much more
pleasant experience.

And my darling project group.
With my fellow P sistas.
As one of them would put it,
"Muah muah!" haha!
We've been through ugly group members,
long periods of stress,
and for the other two,
frustrated husbands who patiently
wait and prepare to brave heavy evening traffic
as we complete the last word.
You go girls.

More meetings
at mac and delifrance.
more laptop days.
more borrowing of books.
more phone conversations.
more late nights to come.
and unfortunately,
more assignments.

It's been fun, tiring, stressful.
On top of our everyday jobs
of dealing with active kids.
Mum agrees, having had
her fair share of the workload.

One more year, ladies.
Let's make it worthwhile.
Cheers :)

This means war.

2007-04-27T11:51:00.000+08:00

I should have known.
Damn, slapping myself right now.

Went for a late dinner with Mum,
who waited patiently after class.
After being the last ones to stay in school trying to
finish up the rationale for our assignment.
Our Arts lecturer came by and reminded us that
school closes at 10, so off we went,
packing up papers and books,
and with heavy bags, out the door.

I should have known when I dipped the satay into the sauce.
Something hit me, but not hard enough.
There's peanut in there! Wake up!
But tired hungry me just dipped and ate.
Argh.

This morning, the big red bumps
made their 2nd ugly appearance.
So down went the medicine.
On went the calamine.
And drowsy me into sleep.

Was supposed to go to the bird park with my kids today.
Had to call the P and tell her about the big red bumps.
Sigh. Thinking of my laoshi now, together with the parents.
Am so, so, sorry. I should have been more cautious.

No More Peanuts.
Am really gonna miss my peanut butter.
This means war, for now.

Hey You.

2007-04-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

Apologies I haven't updated in quite a while.
The past weeks have been plagued
with project madness and ill health.
Hives from having just
two peanut cream biscuits two days ago.
I never imagined.

My kids, in their gloriously cute moments,
asked:
"Why you sick ah?"
"What happen to you?"
"We pray for you ok?"

:)

I'll be back. Soon.
Meanwhile, pls feel free to tag.

Love.

A little more

2007-04-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

3 days did me good.
Refreshed from the fellowship.
Refreshed from the play.
Refreshed, being reminded again of His love.

And there are firsts.
First pedicure. Express, chopchop, no fuss.
Feels quite weird having pretty toenails all of a sudden.
Wait till my kids see it. hahaha.

Easter celebrations in school tmr.
Deep in thought, I came to this conclusion.
That I've grown to love these 26 little ones
under my charge in more ways than I could ever imagine.
Yes, there will still be the hard part of disciplining.
And the endless reminding/scolding/reprimanding.
And the forgiving.
And the pep talks.
And the : "Miss Tan never likes to scold you, so please...."

God give me grace to nurture these little ones.
Who are so precious, yet at times
take all of me till I have hardly anything left to give.

For all the sin that lives in me,
it took a nail to set me free still,
what I do I don't wanna do and so goes the story.
What you had in mind,
When we seek we'll find shine show me grace.

A little more than I can give,
a little more than I deserve.
On earth this holiness I can't earn, It's a,
little more than I can give, A little more than I deserve.

Jennifer Knapp - A little more

Way up down here

2007-03-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

It's easy to block it out.
But when reality comes rushing back, here it comes again.
It's really difficult to get the engine going.
Sometimes it's even hard to start.
Clouded judgement and jumbled thoughts.

Appointments with God. That's all we need.

Just Asking.
Have you done your QT today?
Have you talked to God lately?
Have you prayed?

If a child...

2007-03-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

My colleague sent me this :)

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to hate.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal.
If a child lives with sharing, he learns about generosity.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place to live in."

Right about now

2007-03-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

New term.
New week.
New kids?

Yours truly is feeling
nervous and excited
right about now.

And yours truly has
to get a good night's rest
no matter what
right about now.

Expect the unexpected. :P

Spread the love

2007-03-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

8th March.
Today.
International Women's Day!
Rroarr :)

Sisters

2007-03-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

A fellow sister sent me this:

A true sister:
Accepts you for who you are,
Believes in you,
Calls you just to say,"Hi!"
Doesn't give up on you,
Envisions the best for you,
Forgives your mistakes,
Gives unconditionally,
Helps you,
Invites you over,
Jokes with you,
Keeps you close at heart,
Likes you for who you are,
Makes you feel even happy,
Never judges without reasons,
Offers support,
Picks you up,
Quiets your fears,
Raises your spirit,
Says nice things about you,
Tells you anything that is truth,
Understands you,
Values you,
Walks with you,
"X"-plains things you don't understand,
Yells when you don't listen,
Zaps you back to reality!

To all my fellow sisters / friends
Thank you for your fellowship
and prayers
and continuous encouragement :)
Much love.

Lovely

2007-03-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Dearest Dad :)
In case you're wondering where
the glorious spread above came from..
Jack's Place. Worth it.

Me trying to wolf down a mini
spoonful of banana split ice cream.
Muahaha.

Last week of school. Hurray!
Still got assignments though.
But looking forward to at least
a nice break.

have a good week ahead ppl :)

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Funky

2007-03-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

Greg Pattillo - Beatboxing flutist.
A YouTube video.

Amazing.
He does the mario and inspector gadget theme too.

Reasons to smile

2007-03-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Being encouraged by HIS word

Praying for one another

My grandma smiling back

My dear boy C, the food-bringer who has extended an invitation to stay at his place for 10 days, but I have to bring my own mattress and clothes, of course. After the 10 days are over, I have
to, get out of his house, so he says. But, I have insisted he ask his parents for permission first :)

Just Follow Law. DO watch it, it is so Singaporean Lah.

My special boy responding to most things, and most importantly, him recognising me.

Meeting my K2s along the corridor and outside the girls' toilet. Getting taller, growing up faster than ever, greeting me everytime we pass. Yes I miss chatting with all of you. :)

The two Aunty P's. Project work is never the same without them.

Jamming. We will rock you, soon.

Knowing the weekend is coming. Finally.

Just knowing you, out of so many people,
care to see through this,
so much more,
than this.

These days

2007-02-26T23:11:00.001+08:00

Things are starting to settle down.
Still praying, still trying to adapt to changes.
But I do feel in the midst of all the stress,
I sometimes forget to pause to appreciate
the things my 5-year-olds do,
even when it's glaringly obvious.

A day can go like this:

C, a boy in my AM class,
will come up and offer me food and drink
from the dramatic corner during playtime,
even pausing to say: "Careful it's hot, you have
to leave it to cool down". He'll then patiently wait for me
to "bite" and "drink". And I have to put down
whatever I'm doing just for that.
which makes both of us feel good.
He'll also scold me if I forget to "eat".

Today C brought one (real) cupcake for snack.
He peeled out two small pieces,
just for me and my lao-shi to try.
And came over to where I was sitting
to pop it in my mouth.

I can imagine him cooking for his future gf. oh my, haha.
Where can you ever find sweetness like that :)

Other times, my kids will draw something at home
and bring it to school. And you can see the pride and joy
in their face when they take it out of their bags to show it.
It comes in all shapes and sizes, mind you.
I'm expected to bring it home to hang it in my room,
and I cannot, ever fold it. Otherwise they'll be hurt.
Even better, they'll be beaming if I stick it up in the class.
One of the boys even made fake money for me,
when told Miss Tan wasn't rich.

I learnt how to say cornflakes in chinese from my lao-shi.
And my kids caught on. Well, they tried.
Instead of the usual "Wo yao cornflakes",
Now they have to ask: "Wo yao yu mi pian"
Some joked: "Wo yao nose, mouth, eyes".
Another thing is, they love to demand.
No please & thank you.
Only "I want somemore!"
So my lao-shi and I will tease.
"'Somemore forks, spoons, cups,teachers?"
hahaha :)

And for the first time in my 4 years of teaching,
a boy asked me this, when I was busy disciplining
him and a few others for disrupting the class,
"Are you angry, Miss Tan?"

It took me awhile to think.
Yeah, Am I?
In that moment, of course.
But for the long term,
I don't think so.

Special moments with
special people.

These days :)

This love / She (Part 2)

2007-02-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

A continuation from She

I visited her again yesterday
feeling guilty of having not done so
after weeks of trying to cope
with the stresses of work life.

A special occasion,
a so-called new beginning.
This time, bathed in red and orange.
Sounds of laughter and voices
echoed through that tiny hall
with the fans whirring
and people stirring.

I stood, awaiting to greet her
and also to receive packets
of gold and red with a valuable sum.
Placing those aside, I finally had my turn
of greetings and
my moment with her.

I smiled, and reached down to
gently say my name a little louder
into her ear, amidst the noise around us.
I waited for the recognition
of that few syllables
to light up upon her face.

And it did.
Just like a star
It grew into a smile
And she shook and touched
my hand, never letting go.

She again responded cheerfully,
once told I was working and of
course, earning the thing most
important to the Asian culture:
money.

She gave two thumbs up,
to my surprise,
and smiled and stared.

Later, I helped to feed her
a delightful sweet fruit
sold in wild abundance
this time of year.

She bit and chewed,
then spat out seeds.
I laughed, with Mum's
scolding in the background
to peel it into smaller bits.

When family had come and gone,
and we were the only ones left,
she stared again at a different pair
of pink and blue hanging from my ears
and animatedly asked me whether they
were painful to put on.

I replied a cheerful no,
and took one out
for her viewing pleasure.
She gazed at it and chuckled.
Mum again reminded me,
she loves these with a passion.

Later we took shots with her
happy smiling faces
captured forever in a lens.
Looking at a face like hers
that has stood the test of time,
Her veined hands, so fragile
yet so beautiful.

90 amazing years, and hopefully
for many more years to come.

Happy Chinese New Year,
my only surviving grandparent
and dearest, dearest
grandma.

Much, much love :)

Hmm.

2007-02-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

Off Timo's blog.

When love is tried as loved ones change
Hold still to hope though all seems strange
Till ease returns and love grows wise
Through listening ears and opened eyes

When love is torn and trust betrayed
Pray strength to love till torments fade
Till lovers keep no score of wrong
But bear through pain love’s Easter song

Still tired.
Still sick, though recovering.
Still, this way.

Sorry,
but i'm in no mood
for celebrating.

Word?

2007-02-10T10:02:00.000+08:00

I've been telling my kids
after getting sick and tired
of disciplining the same old ppl
with the same old problems
for the past few weeks:
"Stop complaining and start thinking
about what you have done. And stop
blaming your friends for everything.
Think!"

Famous quote from my colleague:
" Look at your fingers.
Two fingers pointing out
but three fingers pointing back at yourself."

Ting! Does it enter their tiny ears and go into their whatever-sized brains?
I have no idea. But I hope it does.

Yes, Ms Tan is exhausted.
And 5 year olds are never good
at being patient or developing the
habit of just pausing to think
before they open their mouths.

They are just,
at that age.
A million questions,
which they throw at you every 5 mins.
Like mini time bombs.
And it's up to you
1) to leave it open-ended which requires brain power on your part
2) give them a quick chopchop answer
which leads to the same question being repeated in your face, maybe louder this time.
OR
3) just tell them to keep quiet.
which then, shuts them up for another 5 mins
but little by little,
kills their joy of learning.

There are exceptions,
the quai ones, the darlings.
But majority = bad habits
and me getting a sore throat.

I know it's not realistic for all to behave.
I mean, c'mon, you're talking KIDS.
But all I want really. Is for them to just be aware.
That the world doesn't revolve around them alone.
Tough, it is.

Dad once told me in jest:
"The mouth moves faster than the brain."

How true.

To be continued..

Into this

2007-01-29T19:25:00.000+08:00

ooh. the hype of the past few days.
Our dear Mike got drunk on bachelor's party night.
Then said his vows on Saturday to a lovely bride.
And.. I got angpao! from standing around
till my heeled feet hurt, with 3 handsome brothers in suits
repeating this string of words:
"Welcome! Name? Surname? You're at table ___"
Banquet Usher, dun play play ok. ;P

Celebrations aside, Congrats to the lovely couple :)
Rest well, I told Cynthia, shaking her hand after dinner ended.
Really they do need it.

On the school front.
My lao-shi's away in China to buy a house.
Won't be back till Wed. I miss her.
And now have to handle the class
with my dear Boss.

Today being a Monday,
lectures came almost
instantly to the kiddos
who tried my patience.
My heart went out to those
who behaved. I'm truly sorry.
I still, do love you all :)

And a new addition to my PM class.
He of the blonde hair and green eyes.
But he has health issues, so gotta watch out for that too.

Something came up in my mind.
Walking back home. I remembered.
Besides yesterday being the dinner and all,
it also had a special significance.
To my family.
Then sadness came,
because now things have changed.

Of all the questions,
Of every thought
which still stops to ask why,
and every emotion which
seeks to dwell in some part of me
I just need to pray.

Hope? Yup it's difficult to grasp.

Somebody asked for you yesterday,
just so you know.

A fleeting moment

2007-01-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like
A thousand diamonds
Strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment
I am happy.

No room for heroes

2007-01-24T16:21:00.000+08:00

New year, new classes.
2 special ones in my care.
Sigh.

I don't know whether
to cry
or laugh
or scold
or hug
or discipline
or get angry
or be bitter about the whole thing
or be thankful
or grateful
or nonchalant

Help! =P

I had special ones last year
this year i get two
double the energy
double the patience
double the emotions
double the perserverance
double the endurance

It's crazy / absurd / insane / whatever.

I'm no superhero
that my kids rave about on the tv
just trying to make sure
the little ones learn
and remember things for life

But everyday can be like going to war
and never really knowing whether
you help the injured first
or you stand in the line of fire
and get shot down for
even trying to make things right.

Dear God,
please give me faith, hope, love, patience
and everything else.

Because I'm going mad.
Please.
Save me from myself.

One thing

2007-01-13T09:20:00.000+08:00

Standing on the edge.
Given the choice
to fall or stay.
Stay, people say
Fall, just a step away

I can't throw it aside
I can't say be gone
I can't say disappear

It's still here
Still bugging me
Like a vacuum
that sucks the life
and energy away.

Then I realised.
I had to run back
and just keep running
till the day comes.
But I had to be convicted.
And I have.

I pray for the peace, love and joy
to fill all of me.
And not let the humaness
overthrow my every thought
and action.

To take away the tears
and thoughts that have
come and gone.
To remove the expectations
and to focus and be clear
of what I really can do.

And to seek, ask and pray.
and never stop doing so.

You're all I have

2006-12-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

First day.
Of orientation/back-to-school prep.
Feels good, to be back in my class.
To open the windows once again
and start the day anew.
Chinese conversations with my dearest lao-shi :)
Familiar voice of my dear boss ringing in my head.

Am I over my so-called holiday?
Days of sleeping and waking up late.
At the beginning I felt quite lost.
But I realised I welcomed the rest.

Met up with dear friends over Christmas.
Our spur of the moment
pre-Christmas dinner prep
bloomed ideas in our head
dreams of future partnerships
and future get-togethers.

And I "drove"!
Well, with S controlling the handbrake
and my foot on the brake pedal
I had my first go on an auto Mitsubishi.
It feels really good, thrilling maybe
to know you can control a set of wheels.
I so wanna drive right now. haha.

Almost 48 hours of laughter
Some Booze and Uno cards
Good food and conversations
We said our goodbyes
to dearest A. Will miss you gal.

As a song goes...

As we go on, we remember
all the times we had together,
and as our lives change
come whatever
we will still be
friends forever

Hope

2006-12-20T02:07:00.000+08:00

Victory dinner with dearest V.
Without Onions plus
Iced Milk Tea Indian Style.

Yes, there is sunshine after the rain,
though it will take a long time for it to come.
Much needed prayer for everything, still.
Thank you for sharing and understanding.
That Black and white picture of nice
I will keep in view, yes? ;)

10pm Tangs.
Praying for all of you ppl.
Despite the rain,
the show must go on!

Christ has come to fill
our hearts with love :)

Voice of an angel

2006-12-20T01:48:00.000+08:00

Amazing.
The only way to describe a lady
with a voice so
gentle yet powerful.

And I love, love, love
her piano chords.
Simple yet moving.

Yes i agree, Hazel.
It's one of those things
that will stay with you.

A night to remember,
with Corrinne May.

:)

Watched..?

2006-12-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

I love the rain.
I love my long commute.
I love the company.
I love it loud.
I love shopping.
I love to unwind.
I love being a substitute.
I love working late.
I love losing myself.
I love missing the last bus home.

I like this ad.
Even though the riff is stuck
in my head for the millionth time.

Just wonder.

2006-12-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

A fun afternoon with fishermen
with strings attached
and lures and other fishing bits
getting changed, discussed, compared.

Where normally I fear to tread,
I conquered crazily
with little grip on my tiny flipflops
over rocks and thorns that pricked,
over holes that threatened to
suck my toes in
if I didn't keep my balance.
Over longkangs we went
and bridges too
all to get a good catch.

Then I saw them.
Beautiful striped swimmers
gliding in the water
oblivious to us strange people
with long rods.

Stucked in rocks,
Tangled strings,
and many gentle reminders later,
I learnt the art
of casting taught by
my dear fishing friend.

First time, first try.
Maybe a fish, next time?
Thank you for your valuable advice.
Much thanks to ZY too,
for being patient with a newbie.

Standing out in the open
over the waters
looking out at the sunset.
I stood quietly,
amidst enduring bites from
irritating mozzies.

Yes.
People should really stop
to wonder.
To pause and look
at the creation
spread out before us.
And to reflect
on a wonderful saviour
who made it with love.

We are meant to be

2006-12-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

Dan Loh introduced this song on Sunday,
and it's been ringing in my head ever since :)


Chris Tomlin - Made to worship
You and I are made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
And you and I will see
How we were meant to be

Before the day
Before the light
Before the world revolved around the sun
God on high
Stepped down into time
And wrote the story of his love for everyone

He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember
You and I were made to worship
You and I were called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
And you and I will see...
How we were meant to be

All we are
And all we have
Is all a gift from God
That we will see
Throughout our life
We open up our lives
To see the majesty and glory of the king

He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember

You and I were made to worship
You and I were called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
And you and I will see...
How we were meant to be

We will hear him cry out
We will hear the shout
The sound of his holy name
Then we will sing out
He's worthy of all our praise

You and I were made to worship
You and I were called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
And you and I will see...
How we were meant to be

Do hope as you read the lyrics,
you'll truly reflect on how God
has worked in your life.

3,2,1...

2006-11-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

in x hours..mins..secs..
heck. who's counting.

BAYcamp'06 / In.Wade
Are you ready?

:)

That smile

2006-11-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

And a little boy came up to me
with his sister in tow.
He who returned my wave,
whilst walking past the red carpet.

He smiled, his uber-cute smile,
Remembering to say thank you
to a nice lady who gave him
a yummy chocolate bar.

"I'm five now", he proudly exclaimed,
showing me his five little fingers,
"And I'm going to be in K2 next year."

"He's going to Marie Stella"
his sister responded.
" No...it's Marisss Stella.."
he amusingly corrected her.
"And she's going to CHIJ Katong School."
"Primary 1."

Wow, I thought.
Amazing prounciation,
When kids in class echo lahs and yahs
and everything else comes out so fast
but here comes this boy
uttering every word, almost perfectly.

I met this boy in the lift again
with his mum gently reminding
his sister to greet us.
When it came to my turn,
he, of the fantastic vocab,
added:" She was my teacher before."

And he ran out of the lift
not realising he just
made my day.

Much Love, D.W.
Star Student you'll always be.

Missed.

2006-11-21T16:27:00.000+08:00

Now that things have changed
I will never have all of you completely.
I realised, even with you
walking two steps behind
that cold wet evening
when hearing your laughter
pounded with a pain
which even I couldn't comprehend
why this, why now.

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same.

We laughed.

2006-11-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

haha. it's amazing.
how much chemistry we have.
the 3 of us who have worked together
since the beginning of our course till now.

My dearest friends / groupmates / ladies
Project discussion with munchtime
Re-enacting loud people talking abt MRT directions
And realising we were all looking at ahem...the same thing.

Altogether now...roll eyes...
muahaha. ;)

who says aunties...oops i mean ladies..
aren't fun?

She

2006-11-13T20:57:00.000+08:00

All 89 years of her life
still shining bright in her grey eyes
though her limbs now confined
to a set of wheels
She still greets us with a firm shake
and hold of the arms
Because touch is the only thing
that bridges the big gap in between
which makes almost everything
in that moment...Beautiful.

This is..
She.

-----------------------------------------

She caught sight of the dangly blue circles
hanging from my ears,
which caught the light
each time I moved.

She smiled and laughed as she described
to us when in her youth she too collected
little treasures of all colours to adorn
her own ears.

She added, "I love dangly ones"
much to our amusement.
"Guess who had to clean them"
added Mum in the background,
with a frown and a smile,
explaining that our dear matriach's eyes
were too blurry to see anything,
much less tiny metal pieces.

And we laughed together
Women of different generations
Bonded together through old and new ways
She continued with her delightful chatter
by guessing our ages and telling us
how good it was to be young,
not having aching bones to be massaged
and tended to every few minutes.

She drifted in and out of timelines
realising it had been a year
since she came to this place.
She talked of houses and places of work
now long gone to fields of green

Soon, She was lulled to sleep
by the noises and sounds
which swirled around her.

As the hour went by
and voices faded
to return on another day
she awoke amidst blinks
and bits of conversation.

We said our silent goodbyes
with the promise we would return
to her soon, very soon.
And she smiled
the everlasting smile
and waved.

Heart-Work

2006-11-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

The show begins.

Splashes of colours
Red/Pink faces and lips
(To my boys, respect! I promised you, just two days :P)
Excite and Ignite
Frowns and Smiles
Flowers in every type possible
Stars, Wings, Gold sashes
Stripes, Black bands, Sticks,
Stuffed Sheep, Presents,
High Fives to build confidence
Bright lights and Red dots
Music = Action = Roll
Shake and move to the groove
Little lights and Big hearts
Spray spirals in the air
Shouts of laughter and joy
Thank Yous and Chocolate Bars
Smiles All Around

2007, here we come!

To all the 21 of you.
I AM SO PROUD!
WE DID IT!

love/hug/scream/smile!

Indescribable

2006-11-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

Flowers. By 2 of my gals.
Notice how different they are.
Amazing, the stuff they can create.

Upcoming:
FD rehearsal and Concert.
Post concert outings and revision.
Then, tearful goodbyes to another batch of K2s
who'll graduate on to the next level
known as Primary School.

I'll miss them, esp the K2 pm class.
They were my form class last year, am incredibly fond of them.
The fabulous 10 who made 2005 so memorable.
who still greet me along corridors with smiles and cheerfulness
Much love, much love.

So many memories.
Contained in a few hundred days of each year.
Little ones whose faces and disciplining moments
remain etched forever in your mind.

Treasured.
These moments are

Deep Within

2006-10-24T04:03:00.000+08:00

And much love
to the people who have surrounded
me with yours.

Thank You.
I enjoy every moment.
And treasure every heartfelt
advice and encouragement.

:)

A hint of this, a flicker of that.

2006-10-24T03:45:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since I blogged.

Why the silence.
Well, it's just something
I'm going through.
And I feel it's useless
to explain further.

Emo posts previously.
I'm almost over it,
but will I be ever.
Nope.

Get on with life?
It's so easy to just say it
but freaking hard to do
knowing at the back of your mind
it's still there.

And so you called.
Was it a feeling that just went by?
I ask myself that now
knowing I can never ever
have the answer.

Everything In Between

2006-10-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

And I heard your voice
over the phone
a million thoughts
over a million miles
memories of times not too long ago
that you brought a smile to my face.

And now as I sit here thinking
where do we go from here
and droplets form
beneath this exterior
which may seem fine
on the surface
but raging storms
rise on the inside...

I can't help but say
I wish you were right here with me.

cos there's a little bit of something in me
and everything in you.

Learning to breathe

2006-10-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

Smile in stressful times?
Calm down even though
you feel your anger rising?
Pray even though you wanna just
go ahead and do things your way?

so hard.
still trying.
persevere....

breathe.

A little sunshine

2006-09-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

Thank you y'all.
For coming over
and making my day.
I really needed it =)

Soon, Soon.
When things are more settled,
more invites to come.

For now,
from the bottom of my heart
Thank You =)

2006-09-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

So when the winds of change try to blow me over
And the shadows of confusion hide the truth
I will hope in the One who is forever
I will run to You

say what?

2006-09-18T21:42:00.000+08:00

Tuning in..

where soaring melodies and solos
allow you to drown yourself
in the whirlpool
of highs and lows
which makes you hide from the
nagging cold of the truth called reality.

but for a moment.

to feel better?
that other ppl are feeling
as depressed and like crap as you are?
that we're so called "the same"?

what to feel
what to even think or say.
i'm not spared.
just me and some words
that may answer qns
or hit a blank wall.

yea. what, really?

The Inevitable

2006-09-17T18:56:00.000+08:00

And soon,
some things will be seen
in a different light.
Truths will be revealed.
Voices will be heard.

Some already know,
some don't.

Emotions have been
like rivers running dry.
Talks have been going on.
Advice has been given.

All I wanna say is
Please don't sympathise.
Encouragement and prayer
and hope
is all that is needed.

Even when your hope is gone,
move along.

Closest to this

2006-09-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

Fellowship and fun with the brothers.
Thanks guys for sharing =)
And for pool tactics as well. haha.

Today was good.
Hopefully more ppl from our cell
can join us after exams are over.
Jia you all of you!!! =)

Oh my. what a surprise.
hearing it from you, of all people
funny how sometimes
things happen unexpectedly.

Destination - Beautiful
yeah i will meet you there
when the time comes.

And then some..

2006-09-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

Little by little
I guess that's the way to go.
It was strange but nice.
Weird but precious.
Unsatisfyingly special?
Can't describe it.
But why did it have to end
so soon.

caught in a moment
touched the edge
of something beautiful.

On The Ride

2006-09-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

Sec 4Es - PSS 01 Batch

PPS 97 Gals

T-Man's 20th :)

We’ll laugh ‘til we cry
Read each others minds
Live with a smile
Make it all worthwhile

So you wanna be a 'Cher?

2006-09-01T11:32:00.000+08:00

To all out there
for all your patience
and tolerance
for the bunch of wonderful
crazy ppl under your charge
this is for you!

From The Hand Holders: A tribute to caregivers
By Dori Rossmann

It is true that you don't make much money
and you don't get a whole lot of praise,
but when one small child says, "I love you,"
you're reminded of how much this job pays.

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

More than this

2006-08-26T10:39:00.000+08:00

I had a beautiful dream.
of you and i both.
And it was too good to be true.
which caused me to wake
at an unearthly hour
and shake the stars
out of my clouded head.

but that was nice.
and sweet.
at the thought.

More 21st bdays to attend this month.
Old friends whom I haven't seen in
ages ever since we left the
10 years of courtyard and recess
memories behind.

It's really heartwarming to receive even an sms
from a friend so long ago.
Then the catch up session happens.
and the usual questions are asked.
But the moments are so much more.
more endearing than
all the shit that happens
in life.

there are moments

where words just don't matter at all.

And that's why

a picture paints a thousand words.